She’s broken

I’m one to randomly talk to strangers. I will sit and speak to the homeless or chat with old people on the bus. Maybe I like people or I’m probably too inquisitive for my own good. I had the pleasure of meeting a girl two days ago at the bus stop. She looked unkempt, her arm was in a sling and looked extremely sad. I asked what’s wrong and this girl went in! 😐 She began with, “it all started when I was 14”. Now, I was not expecting to hear this. As a matter of fact, I didn’t want to know what happened so many years ago. I wanted to run, fast! lol.

However, I listened. I had so many things to do and my ice cream was melting, at which point I regret not taking my car. Nevertheless, I sat there listening, wondering when her story was going to end πŸ€”.

She lived a cycle of pain. She had a victim mentality and was extremely hopeless. Life had failed her and the memories she rehearsed had kept her in mediocrity.

She was hurt and a broken mess. From being raped to several failed relationships and spontaneous abortions. And my words of encouragement were “you can’t let life beat you”. She quickly rebutted that she is not as strong as I amπŸ€”.

She went on to speak of lack of support and poor counselling. She had clearly given up on life, defeated in her mind. I immediately remembered the bible verse, “hope deferred makes the heart sick”. And that is why she was sick! Not physically sick, but mentally ill. She even said that the pain in her broken arm was nothing compared to the pain in her head and heart😩.

What had I gotten myself in to? I’m no counsellor and it is difficult to speak to such broken people about the word. You need to meet them at their broken ness.

She wouldn’t let me pray with her. So after speaking to her and not getting anywhere, I asked her to seek mental health advice. Although I couldn’t help, as she was so far gone and needed professional intervention, I learnt a great deal from her.

1. Forget, forget, forget!! I can’t stress anymore how much one needs to forget. She didn’t forget what happened to her so many years ago and as a result, she maintained a victim mentality.

2. A victim mentality will leave you in mediocrity. She portrayed herself as a victim and as a result, was abused by many.

3. Keep hope alive! Christ within us, the hope of glory!

Don’t you dare let life defeat you. Nothing is that bad to want you to end your life. Jesus already did that. Your life may be in chaos. All hell is breaking loose. However, it is going on in your head and you can escape it all by thinking differently.

Some of you are having worse days than prisoners. Because sadly you are imprisoned in your mind. I’m encouraging you, no matter what you go through, you have the ability to change your mind, to think on things that are pure and of good report. You are only miserable because you want to be. Change your mind and you will definitely change your life.

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Light Afflictions

I’m often described as an ice queen. Apparently I lack emotions because I “never care”. Am I wrong not to care or have I taken 1 Peter 5:7 out of context? Lol πŸ€”

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The scripture says, ” cast all cares on God for He cares for you”. And that brothers and sisters, is my defence lol. Why should I care if Jesus cares? Am I supposed to stress out and become a nervous wreck over things that are beyond my control?
Being a Christian is not easy. We go through so many adversities, but the apostle Paul describes them as light afflictions. My God! Imma have to say it again. They are light afflictions! And He goes on to say in 2 Corinthians 4:17 that they last but for a moment!! Wait, he did not stop there, glory to God! “They last for a moment but we have an eternal glory that outweighs them all!”πŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎ What a word!

Paul is saying that we should not worry about the seen but rather, focus on the unseen because the seen is temporary and the unseen is eternal.

And so I set my mind on the higher things (eternity) (Colossians 3:2) this is a scripture that I also meditated on so that my mind would be transformed.

Does it look like I have time to argue over nonsense or hate on people or care that people don’t like me? And better yet, if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, then bye! ✌🏾 And when I can’t pay my bills or the doctor’s report is bad, I focus on the promises of the God. Why worry when you can pray?

So by all means, let me be an ice queen, because I know my God has got me. I learnt to labour into rest. It takes so much effort not to care. It’s not simply ignoring an issue. It’s being confident in the Lord who saved you and walking in faith.

That does not mean I’m unsympathetic. But I will show you some tough love. I too was a nervous wreck and made things bigger than what they were in my head. Then I began to meditate on the word and got my life hunni. I ain’t got time to be miserable. Jesus died so that I may live, and that, is exactly what I’mma do. For he never gave us the spirit of fear chile, but of power, love and a sound mind. πŸ’ƒπŸΎπŸ’ƒπŸΎ

Tame Your Mouth And Discipline Your Attitude…

This post rite hurr πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½

thepurposelifeblog

I have come to realise that some of us Christians have grown wings. We feel that, because the resurrection of Christ gave us the opportunity to come to the Father without the help of a Priest, we don’t regard Leadership. I’m sorry to disappoint, but Christ did not come to abolish leadership.

We must be very careful how we treat and speak against Pastors and people in authority.
All through the Bible, people who stood against leadership were not spared; God caused Miriam to become leprous for speaking against Moses’ choice of a wife (Numbers 12:1-10). Korah, Dathan, Abiram and 250 other leaders rose against the authority of Aaron and Moses, they were swallowed up by the earth (Numbers 16:1-33). A lot more met destruction for going against the authority of God.

What most people don’t know is, when you go against godly leadership you are going against God; you…

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My No became my best yes

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Thought I would insert one of my poems for a laugh. Anyway, I’m taking a quick 10 minute break from studying. Yes, studying. When I thought I had given up the books forever, they managed to find me 3 years later. I guess it comes with the career.

Had to step away from a few things for a minute and the reactions were shocking. It’s funny when you are always around and available, people love you. When you want some necessary time for yourself, people get mad. But humans are not God. And one cannot rely on someone that much. We have a source and that is where our help comes from.

I have always been one to sacrifice for someone, or my job or church. I found it difficult to say no because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or I felt like they needed me so badly that I just could not say no.

No one needs you that bad. We are all adults. If they can’t get it from you, they will get it from someone else. And if that results in you not being their best friend, then good on you because no good friend will run you to the ground.

Speaking of good friend. Let me big up my best friend one time! My best friend lives oceans away, 8 hours away to be precise and this girl don’t ask me for nothing, don’t want nothing and always, always edifies me.

That does not stop me from giving to her. See where I am going? We have developed a reciprocal relationship and that is how relationships should be.

She doesn’t tell me I’m being elusive or she doesn’t hear from me or she wants something or she needs me so bad. She knows that I am not God.

And so I said no. No I’m not coming to your birthday party, no I’m not coming to your wedding, no I’m not working overtime, no I am not going to that church function. Why? Because I need to take care of me too!

I wasn’t being selfish. It was absolutely necessary for me to do it. Saying no allowed me to get things done for me. Like getting myself in order, resting, sorting my finances, and allowed me to actually hear from God without the noise and distractions of this world.

I’ve said this before, and I’mma repeat it. One does not need company, one needs movement. You don’t need anyone to distract you from the place where God wants to take you. Some people only want to be your Orpahs, but only a selective few will be your Naomi’s.

You can’t be people’s saviour but you can direct them to the God who can and will.

I will marry you

Say what? I don’t really like to showcase my relationship or broadcast it over social media because I believe my relationship with my fiancΓ© is our business. FiancΓ©? Well, your girl up and got engaged hunni. And just like you, I never saw it coming.

You know me, I’ve always been so cynical. And when my boyfriend said he will marry me, I was like, wadever. Did I think I was not marriage material? Or was I so convinced by past relationships that he was going to “buss off” (leave) like the others?

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I never ever thought I would get married. It wasn’t something I wrote on my list. I always envisioned myself as one of those successful business women with fly cars and houses. No family or man. I wasn’t into all of that.

So when my ex told me he will never marry me, I guess that was my signal to resign from meaningless relationships. But to be honest, I didn’t care when he said it, because I didn’t want to marry him either. I just stayed, wasting time until we both got fed up of each other and that led to so much unnecessary pain.

What then makes my now relationship so different? Well, for one, he was intentional about his pursuit. I can’t say he was “on it” because I was so fly! Our first “date” was at a church service, and I was casual without any makeup on. I could have cared less about impressing some guy 😏.

But I paid close attention to detail. The way he raised his hands in worship and prayed passionately. Who is this man? But I could not be bothered. I was too busy loving God to even gleam at the fields πŸ™„.

We became closer, we spent day and nights speaking about our love of God, he became my accountability partner and eventually stole my heart. He was different. He loved my flaws. He loved that I was imperfect and I didn’t have to sleep with him for him to put a ring on it. Not even a kiss.

 

“I will marry you Acki” he said. It must have been our 6th month of courtship. He made it clear that he was intentional about his pursuit and that he wanted to spend forever with me, to love me like Christ.

I was intentional too. Not to get a husband because everyone else was getting married, but to use what we have, to edify one another and to work for the kingdom.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says two is better than one. Ha! πŸ™ˆ that is debatable 😏. Because I’m sure Paul said it’s better to stay unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:8). I will touch on this debate in a later post. Ok holier than thous, don’t get your panties in a twist thinking I’m taking scripture out of context πŸ™„. My point is, one should not get married because they are getting old and lonely. But should marry because it’s the will of God for your life.

Moving steadily along, (coz imma be late for church), on my 30th birthday, aboard a ship on the French Riviera, he proposed and I said yes. Now let the wedding planning commence! (I am actually not planning a darn thing coz I can’t be bothered). πŸ˜‚πŸ˜«

Write the vision and make it plain

In Habbakkuk 2:2, we see that the prophet was instructed by the Lord to write the vision, and that vision will certainly come to pass.

What? So you’re telling me, if I write my plans down, they will come to pass? Yea rite. 😏

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When I was a teenager. I thought about what I wanted by the time I was 30. I wrote them on a list, but didn’t pay much attention to it. It was not an exhaustive list but reflecting on that list, EVERY thing on it came to pass!

God sure has a sense of humour, because 2 years ago, I never imagined having the things I do nor having this peace in my life.

This year, I entered my 30th year on earth with a ring from my amazing FiancΓ©, I bought my first car in cash and I got an unexpected promotion. I also moved into my own place, after having house shared for years.

One may say, ” that ain’t nothin”. But it was a big deal to me. I can clearly remember this girl in college laughing when I told her that my first car will be a BMW. Now I didn’t quite buy the BMW but my MINI sure has a BMW engine!

And I look back and think, God truly ordered my steps. Whilst I was still a sinner he had already provided all my needs. And all I had to do was wait on him. Habbakkuk 2:3 says, though it delays, wait for it for it will surely come.

Now what is this wait? Sit and do nothing? Oh no hunni! This wait involved me labouring! It meant me working for God and understanding grace.

Understanding that I don’t have to fight every battle, understanding that God has prepared things that exceed my expectations and most importantly seeking him first.

It is not easy to seek God first when you have been doing things on your own for years. But when you realise that God has been ordering your steps, because he knew you before you were born, you begin to rest.

Hebrews 4 speaks about that rest. And encourages us as believers to make every effort to enter it. ” For the one who has entered God’s rest has also rested from his labours just as God also rested from his”.

I refuse to become like the children of Israel who died in the wilderness. Their disobedience and unbelief resulted in them wandering for 40 years, instead of entering into God’s rest.

God gave them land to possess but instead of walking by faith, they walked by sight and didn’t live to inherit what God had already provided.

And there I was a teenager, who didn’t know God, but God already had provided his finished works for me.

Everything I have now was already in the spirit, and I had to labour into rest to possess it. I wrote a vision without really considering that it would actually manifest, but God reminded me, while I was yet a sinner, he STILL had me in mindπŸ™πŸ½

The “curse” of the single christian woman

I’ve seen this time and time again. Beautiful, saved and single. Not only single for a year or so, but single for 5 years or even 10. She will meet guys and think, “Is he the one”? Or date guys and it ends abruptly.

So she either settles for someone, thinks that God wants her to be single forever or becomes so content in her singleness that when a guy does show up, she misses all the signs.

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Now I put the word “curse” in the title for emphasis. It’s not a curse to be single and saved at all. So stop looking at the unsaved couples and wishing you had their relationship.

Or do you not think your relationship with God is better? Doesn’t he give you more than mere men? Or maybe you’re not as close to him to reap the benefits.

“I am lonely”, you say. “I want the house, kids, car, a beautiful husband”, you moan. And God is just looking at you and shaking his head. Because to him, you are like a toddler ranting over sweets when he has already planned a trip to Disney World for you.

And how are you as a woman? Can you even cook? Yet you want twins. And your room is filthy, you’re in so much debt but you ensure your nails are did every week. Where are your priorities? And this is what you want to take into a marriage?

Furthermore, being single does not mean alone. It means whole, complete, lacking nothing and until you become that person, it is unwise to enter a relationship.

Hurt people, hurt other people. Broken people break others. And how can you expect others to fall in love with a you that you don’t even know yourself? Time by yourself lets you see who you are, who God is and who is suitable for you.

Let’s consider Ruth, Naomi’s daughter in law. Ruth decided to follow Naomi back to Bethlehem because she wanted to know Naomi’s God and his people. Ruth was a widow at that point and she never set out to look for a man but as she worked, as unto The Lord, a man found her.

So I see you, yes you, trying to find your Boaz but he won’t find you if you are busy trying to get married but doing absolutely nothing. You don’t do anything for The Lord, but you want him to deliver your husband.

The apostle Paul said it was better to stay unmarried. Lol! I won’t go into that now but I must reiterate that your single period is to focus on God and to discover the hidden treasures within you (1 Corinthians 7:34).

Ladies, when you are married, your focus is to please your husband. So you better chose wisely before he leads you away from God. And just kill the “I am lonely” talk, because if you don’t like your own company, what makes you think someone else will?

God said it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave man specific requirements before he could cleave to a woman. Many of us are skipping the requirements and going straight to the cleaving. How could you love your husband or wife without first loving God? People don’t stay together because they love each other. I’m sure we all loved our ex’s.

Marriage is ministry and it’s until death. It has nothing to do with you and how you feel. So until you develop into a whole being, or if you are working towards becoming one, be like Paul and stay single. Become an asset. What can you do for your mate? Will you be withdrawing or making deposits?

A little sleep a little slumber..

I haven’t blogged in a while. Simply put, I’ve been procrastinating, lazy and just plain out inconsistent.

Yep that’s right. I became the lazy christian, the kind my pinky promise sister Christina described in her blog (http://www.christinafasoro.co.uk/2015/05/the-lazy-christian_14.html?m=1).

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Still praying, going to church, reading my bible etc but not truly exercising the power that was given to me through Jesus Christ.

Then am I a hypocrite? Because I sure speak about having a form of godliness all the time.

Ok, forgive me. I may not be bitter, envious and have malice in my heart but the way I procrastinate is no joke! I am always leaving things to the last minute and the repercussions are severe.

Not only do I procrastinate but I am very inconsistent and I have seen how it negatively affects my daily life.

Growing up, one of my favourite scriptures was proverbs 6:10-11, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a thief
and scarcity like an armed man”.

I said it all the time because it scared me. I didn’t want to be poor. Lol but that did not stop me from procrastinating.

Now I have seen the effects it has had on my life. Poverty has truly hit me. Not really in my finances. I mean, I do have a good career but in terms of my spiritual goals, my relationships, my health, and to be honest, my finances could be better but I have been sleeping and folding my hands.

In a conversation with my best friend this morning, I decided to make a change. I will be intentional and disciplined because I do not want to lack. Nor do I want to think about what could have been, if I only applied myself.

Procrastination is truly of the devil. I’m still shocked to see how I have been robbed! Lol and that is what he comes to do; steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). But he won’t get away with it! I want it all back!

And how could I forget this verse from Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go”.

My excuse is always, “yea I do work and I am soooo tired”. But so is everyone else! And I know that I have not found things to do because my hands are folded. Laziness!

At the end of the day, when God placed Adam in Eden, he didn’t tell him to sit down, gaze and meander. He placed him there to cultivate the land, he put him to work (Gen 2:15).

Stop letting the enemy rob you. Instead exercise what God has given to you. Yes his strength is made perfect in weakness and we are more than conquerors in Jesus name! Don’t miss out on your inheritance. Ain’t nobody got time to be a lazy christian.

Change your mind, your life..

I hear many people complain about how terrible their life is. I’m also guilty. Always moaning about being sick and tired of being sick and tired. “I’m so tired”, “I work for peanuts” etc 😏.

Then I looked at my friends who were all in the same position and we were just moaning about our miserable lives. Oh how we were all falling into a ditch and not recognising that we were bad for each other. We were all blind. Someone once said, “if you want to know who you are, you need to look at your friends”.

Our conversations were futile and irrelevant. Our fellowship brought no edification. Instead of sharpening one another, we were dying spiritually and missing out on life. At that point we didn’t think we missed anything because we were at the best parties, had fresh clothes, and paraded about like pseudo celebs.

We were so caught up on who was doing what and idle gossip and our 20s went by quickly. Yes we were scratching spiritual itches with physical wants. We were asleep, unaware that our world, which we magnified so much was not THE world.

We were distracted, because our makeup and fine clothing mattered more than our spiritual walk and purpose. We wasted time, meandering in life, because we did not know why we were here. We were no better than the prodigal son (Luke 15: 11-32).

But just like that prodigal son, I had a ‘come to myself’ moment. Slowly God began to reveal the good plans for me, plans to prosper me. And so God stirred up my life and everything fell apart. I couldn’t understand why my life was shaking up, but looking back, it was because he was preparing me to be blessed.

So he uprooted me from my familiar environment and planted me in unfamiliar soil where the eyes of my understanding were enlightened, so that I could be fruitful.

No, longer was I falling into ditches by walking in the counsel of the ungodly, standing in the way of sinners, seating in the seats of the scornful. But God was preparing me to be blessed because where I was going is not where he wanted me to be.

So he had to crush me to make me again, another. And yes the crushing is painful but it was worth it. Yes, His plans for us are good, to give us an expected end.

And so I stopped being miserable and accepted what God wanted me to do; pursuing purpose, not people 😊.

Loyal to misery

Someone once told me that I like pain and I like to be sad. That person quickly exited my life. He could not associate himself with pain. He wanted to be happy. And my low, despondent, depressive mood was far too much for him to bare.

Fair enough. I never saw myself as a massochist but then I had an epiphany. Yes, I came to myself. It was then I realised that I surrounded myself with hurtful things, I always looked for the hard way out and always made things more than what they were in my head.

Why did I like pain? Is it because it was familiar to me? What was so troubling about my past that caused me to love pain?

It was evident. Growing up in chaos was all that I knew and that became my norm. A settling ,peaceful environment, was unfamiliar to me and I disliked it. So I caused drama everywhere I went. I may not have done it outwardly but it was certainly in my spirit.

I didn’t like or trust anyone. I became cynical and hateful and if there was no drama, I created it, often times in my head.

And so, I thought no one liked or loved me and I didn’t like or love them either. People were disposable to me. “I use you for what I want”, mentality. I could have cared less about anyone or anything but myself. But little did I know that it would turn around and bite me on the butt, because hunni, you reap what you sow.

And that bite as small as it was, brought me to my knees and I questioned God. “Why me?” “Why is everyone against me?”, “Why does no one love me?” What a big baby! Me, me, me smh. Everything was about me and my past and how hurt I was.

This seed that was planted in me as a child grew significantly. I knew pain, I was loyal to it and that was the only thing that made me happy.

The crying made me happy, and so did the sad stories of my past. I loved living there and worshipping those memories. That was, until I had an epiphany. God used someone to hurt me and tell me about myself so that I could change. A stranger too. And I cried and screamed because I knew in my heart I was not that person. But I had to accept it in order to change.

I did not accept that I was that person. I accepted what I did. And the hard part was forgiving myself. I knew God forgave me after repenting but forgiving myself was harder than I thought. But I had to in order to move on. Yes forgetting what is behind and pressing forward to what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13). I honestly don’t know how I had the energy to be hateful and angry all the time. Walking in God’s grace is much better. I chose to be happy. I divorced misery.