The “curse” of the single christian woman

I’ve seen this time and time again. Beautiful, saved and single. Not only single for a year or so, but single for 5 years or even 10. She will meet guys and think, “Is he the one”? Or date guys and it ends abruptly.

So she either settles for someone, thinks that God wants her to be single forever or becomes so content in her singleness that when a guy does show up, she misses all the signs.

Now I put the word “curse” in the title for emphasis. It’s not a curse to be single and saved at all. So stop looking at the unsaved couples and wishing you had their relationship.

Or do you not think your relationship with God is better? Doesn’t he give you more than mere men? Or maybe you’re not as close to him to reap the benefits.

“I am lonely”, you say. “I want the house, kids, car, a beautiful husband”, you moan. And God is just looking at you and shaking his head. Because to him, you are like a toddler ranting over sweets when he has already planned a trip to Disney World for you.

And how are you as a woman? Can you even cook? Yet you want twins. And your room is filthy, you’re in so much debt but you ensure your nails are did every week. Where are your priorities? And this is what you want to take into a marriage?

Furthermore, being single does not mean alone. It means whole, complete, lacking nothing and until you become that person, it is unwise to enter a relationship.

Hurt people, hurt other people. Broken people break others. And how can you expect others to fall in love with a you that you don’t even know yourself? Time by yourself lets you see who you are, who God is and who is suitable for you.

Let’s consider Ruth, Naomi’s daughter in law. Ruth decided to follow Naomi back to Bethlehem because she wanted to know Naomi’s God and his people. Ruth was a widow at that point and she never set out to look for a man but as she worked, as unto The Lord, a man found her.

So I see you, yes you, trying to find your Boaz but he won’t find you if you are busy trying to get married but doing absolutely nothing. You don’t do anything for The Lord, but you want him to deliver your husband.

The apostle Paul said it was better to stay unmarried. Lol! I won’t go into that now but I must reiterate that your single period is to focus on God and to discover the hidden treasures within you (1 Corinthians 7:34).

Ladies, when you are married, your focus is to please your husband. So you better chose wisely before he leads you away from God. And just kill the “I am lonely” talk, because if you don’t like your own company, what makes you think someone else will?

God said it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave man specific requirements before he could cleave to a woman. Many of us are skipping the requirements and going straight to the cleaving. How could you love your husband or wife without first loving God? People don’t stay together because they love each other. I’m sure we all loved our ex’s.

Marriage is ministry and it’s until death. It has nothing to do with you and how you feel. So until you develop into a whole being, or if you are working towards becoming one, be like Paul and stay single. Become an asset. What can you do for your mate? Will you be withdrawing or making deposits?



A Christian poet

3 thoughts on “The “curse” of the single christian woman

  1. Hi Keeba,
    Thx you for sharing this post and i love it ! In one or two occasion a friend who a cristian before me told me that she’s tired of being alone and she wanted a baby in her life, so i told her to be patient and trust the Lord cause He only knows what best for you, who knows maybe He using these moment for you to get to know Him more intimately. Good news is she was pleased right after i sent her your poste. This post is full of truth, it explain the meaning how i feel that no one in my family don’t really undersand why i want to be single. Even though it’s not easy, being single give me the opportunity to get to know my God more intimately each and everyday cause i know deap down in my heart that He will fill my emptiness with His love and everything coming from Him that i won’t be lack of nothing. I trust Him cause His is in control of everything so He know when is the right time for me to have someone in my life, it’s not gonna be easy all the time but once you have the mighty God in your life and you are filled with his unconditional love and that only matter in my life. Last thing is for me to translate it in spanish so my aunt can read and undersand it lool !!
    May our father God keep blessing you in using you to reach to others who are lost and in search for answers. Keep doing the good work, we love it.

  2. I think this is a good article but also dangerous desiring a family is a natural God given desire. Their is such a thing as spirit of singleness or asmodeus. I encourage you to read wheres my mate by bethany scanlon a christian woman who used biblical principles to get married. I dont think its fair to tell people to be single for life. God is the one who created marriage and Satan is the one who hates marriages tries to destrou them or stop them from happening.

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