The “curse” of the single christian woman

I’ve seen this time and time again. Beautiful, saved and single. Not only single for a year or so, but single for 5 years or even 10. She will meet guys and think, “Is he the one”? Or date guys and it ends abruptly.

So she either settles for someone, thinks that God wants her to be single forever or becomes so content in her singleness that when a guy does show up, she misses all the signs.

Now I put the word “curse” in the title for emphasis. It’s not a curse to be single and saved at all. So stop looking at the unsaved couples and wishing you had their relationship.

Or do you not think your relationship with God is better? Doesn’t he give you more than mere men? Or maybe you’re not as close to him to reap the benefits.

“I am lonely”, you say. “I want the house, kids, car, a beautiful husband”, you moan. And God is just looking at you and shaking his head. Because to him, you are like a toddler ranting over sweets when he has already planned a trip to Disney World for you.

And how are you as a woman? Can you even cook? Yet you want twins. And your room is filthy, you’re in so much debt but you ensure your nails are did every week. Where are your priorities? And this is what you want to take into a marriage?

Furthermore, being single does not mean alone. It means whole, complete, lacking nothing and until you become that person, it is unwise to enter a relationship.

Hurt people, hurt other people. Broken people break others. And how can you expect others to fall in love with a you that you don’t even know yourself? Time by yourself lets you see who you are, who God is and who is suitable for you.

Let’s consider Ruth, Naomi’s daughter in law. Ruth decided to follow Naomi back to Bethlehem because she wanted to know Naomi’s God and his people. Ruth was a widow at that point and she never set out to look for a man but as she worked, as unto The Lord, a man found her.

So I see you, yes you, trying to find your Boaz but he won’t find you if you are busy trying to get married but doing absolutely nothing. You don’t do anything for The Lord, but you want him to deliver your husband.

The apostle Paul said it was better to stay unmarried. Lol! I won’t go into that now but I must reiterate that your single period is to focus on God and to discover the hidden treasures within you (1 Corinthians 7:34).

Ladies, when you are married, your focus is to please your husband. So you better chose wisely before he leads you away from God. And just kill the “I am lonely” talk, because if you don’t like your own company, what makes you think someone else will?

God said it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave man specific requirements before he could cleave to a woman. Many of us are skipping the requirements and going straight to the cleaving. How could you love your husband or wife without first loving God? People don’t stay together because they love each other. I’m sure we all loved our ex’s.

Marriage is ministry and it’s until death. It has nothing to do with you and how you feel. So until you develop into a whole being, or if you are working towards becoming one, be like Paul and stay single. Become an asset. What can you do for your mate? Will you be withdrawing or making deposits?


A little sleep a little slumber..

I haven’t blogged in a while. Simply put, I’ve been procrastinating, lazy and just plain out inconsistent.

Yep that’s right. I became the lazy christian, the kind my pinky promise sister Christina described in her blog (


Still praying, going to church, reading my bible etc but not truly exercising the power that was given to me through Jesus Christ.

Then am I a hypocrite? Because I sure speak about having a form of godliness all the time.

Ok, forgive me. I may not be bitter, envious and have malice in my heart but the way I procrastinate is no joke! I am always leaving things to the last minute and the repercussions are severe.

Not only do I procrastinate but I am very inconsistent and I have seen how it negatively affects my daily life.

Growing up, one of my favourite scriptures was proverbs 6:10-11, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a thief
and scarcity like an armed man”.

I said it all the time because it scared me. I didn’t want to be poor. Lol but that did not stop me from procrastinating.

Now I have seen the effects it has had on my life. Poverty has truly hit me. Not really in my finances. I mean, I do have a good career but in terms of my spiritual goals, my relationships, my health, and to be honest, my finances could be better but I have been sleeping and folding my hands.

In a conversation with my best friend this morning, I decided to make a change. I will be intentional and disciplined because I do not want to lack. Nor do I want to think about what could have been, if I only applied myself.

Procrastination is truly of the devil. I’m still shocked to see how I have been robbed! Lol and that is what he comes to do; steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). But he won’t get away with it! I want it all back!

And how could I forget this verse from Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go”.

My excuse is always, “yea I do work and I am soooo tired”. But so is everyone else! And I know that I have not found things to do because my hands are folded. Laziness!

At the end of the day, when God placed Adam in Eden, he didn’t tell him to sit down, gaze and meander. He placed him there to cultivate the land, he put him to work (Gen 2:15).

Stop letting the enemy rob you. Instead exercise what God has given to you. Yes his strength is made perfect in weakness and we are more than conquerors in Jesus name! Don’t miss out on your inheritance. Ain’t nobody got time to be a lazy christian.