Lately, I’ve been so drained, tired and at times very disorientated. I am not one to complain, I tend to just carry on, enduring like a good soldier, until I just can’t anymore. I have been asking God to help me with my job situation. It is really taking a toll on me physically. Mentally, I’ve cast all my cares on God, but I’m depleting physically and if I don’t get it under control, it will soon manifest spiritually and mentally.
I always say this, if you don’t like something, then change it. But what do you do when you cannot change it? And I think that is where my frustration lies. I cannot change my situation right now due to personal issues. So my weapon is prayer. Whilst walking through the park, I asked God why am I in such a job with no personal gains? I am basically sacrificing myself for the benefit of my patients. He showed me this, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” – Colossians 3:22-24. Ah, yes Lord!
Now this spoke volumes to me as it reminded me of the sacrificial life as a Christian. To be Christ like and selfless. No more me, me, me, like infants, but him, him, him, Jesus. It’s the circumcision of the flesh, the burning away of fleshy desires, all to serve him. We must suffer with him to reign with him. Yes, it is hard to give up all your pre- existing knowledge, to put on the mind of Christ.
But why this sacrificial life? Because before we were born, God knew us, and sanctified us. He said his plans for us are good, to give us an expected end. For eyes have not seen, nor have ears heard nor have entered the hearts of men the things God has in store for those who love him.
So questions to myself are; don’t I want an expected end? Doesn’t God see that I am weary? And isn’t he faithful to build me up and even remove me from an unhealthy situation? Won’t it be better to set my eyes on the higher things, because my current circumstances are temporary? Yes, this sacrificial life is all worth it, I’m awaiting an expected end.